In Response to https://beckiesmentalmess.blog/2019/06/05/june-5-2019-trial-1-working-on-us-mental-health-prompts/

Prompt #1 – Question:

When you first found out that you had a mental illness/disorder, what was your first reaction?  Explain, how this new revelation regarding your health affected you?

From the time I was a teenager in a very bad situation in which I was isolated from any support system, I knew something was not right with my emotional health. I obviously was not allowed to speak to anyone about it because I would have revealed the why of my emotional instability. I made it through high school and went to college where my mother insisted I go because she had a rich coworker who graduated from there and it was an hour from home. She relentlessly hounded me. I began at that point to have more and more symptoms, mostly depression.

As I became older, I would have times I would feel great and do some really stupid, dangerous activities and spend money when I should not. But, the depressions became worse. I went from psychiatrist to psychiatrist and every antidepressant prescribed caused horrible reactions. The last one, Lexapro, caused a severe panic attack while I was driving to a meeting for work.

Finally, a psychiatrist started asking more questions about those times I felt so good and she determined I had bipolar II disorder. It was life-changing and I went through a range of emotions. My husband did not understand the diagnosis and was so upset about the diagnosis, he left. He did return and we are still married.

Treatment has really helped, but it has to be tweaked every now and again. I am presently dealing with a recurrent lung cancer. I cannot even begin to imagine what this would be like without the medication I take for my bipolar II disorder. Still, the stigma of the diagnosis is alive and well and difficult to deal with. That is what I hate most of all.

8 Comments

  1. I first want to sincerely thank you, for partaking in the “Working on Us” Series. I too have Bipolar and understand fully what it’s like to have your medications tweaked. I’ve actually lost count how many times mine have been.
    I am so terribly saddened to learn of your recurrent lung cancer. My heart goes out to you. Thank goodness the medication that you take for your bipolar at least helps to calm what I can’t imagine what you’re going through.
    There is the stigma of mental illness, and it’s truly a shame that it continues. But, this is another reason why I wanted to begin this series… To help fight the stigma that surrounds mental illnesses/disorders. If we keep sharing our stories, it also allows other readers to learn about what it is really like for those of us that have it.
    Again, I so greatly appreciate you sharing your story, and hope to see you continue with “Working on Us” You will be in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless YOU!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Reblogged this on Beckie's Mental Mess and commented:
    REBLOG: “Thoughts of Tee” has chosen Prompt #1 of “Working on Us” Series. She shares her story of when she was younger and dealing with depression, to the learning of when she was diagnosed with Bipolar. Plus, she is dealing with recurrent lung cancer. Please show her your support and kindness. God Bless!

    Like

  3. Though I have no cancer (sorry about that btw) I could write a whole book about my mental disorder. The first I heard about it I took it lightly because I was aware that I have mental issues. I just did not know what it was called. I never took any medication for depression or anything to lightened up my burden. My husband was my psychiatrist. He took all the blow and it took 15 long years but I’m glad it’s all over now. I’ll pray and hope you get better soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You have been through a lot, OotL. I admire you for our perseverance, and I’m so sorry to hear about your living with cancer on top of the bipolar disorder. You sound like a true fighter. Kudos to your husband for coming back to help you face your challenges.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, it has been an uphill battle. I was also diagnosed with another chronic disease and have to infuse medication once a week. One just has to keep on fighting to stay alive. Thank you so much for your response. How kind of you.

      Like

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