Too Lost to Cry

I thought I had my feet

Firmly on the other side

Of my depression.

But, today has proven

That is not so.

When it creeps back in,

This deep sadness that pursues me,

I feel the need

To cry,

But I am too lost

To cry.

All one depends upon

Seems fleeting and fragile-

Except for the love of my life

Who has remained by my side

When others would have

Left.

Everyone other

Is a convenience I cannot afford

To indulge.

Sister, brother, friends of years

All are busy

Living a life

I cannot imagine at this time.

When I get out of this

Dark place

I will be

The same substantial person

I have been before

With the memory of

The blackness of this time fading

As the year passes

Until it creeps in again.

4/20/19 Toni Thacker Leedy

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