The World This Way

Vincent Van Gogh Old Man in Sorrow

You pose these questions

That I cannot answer in the context of my present tense.

Windmills, taxes, politicians and their morals or lack of…

Life is so long

Life is so short.

Days into weeks, weeks to months, and months into years.

Complexities I cannot comprehend in my present state of mind-

Or lack of.

I care so much, and I care so little

The dichotomy of realism versus supposition.

I need but don’t see the point

I feel but don’t see the point

I feel the need to cry-but there is no point.

I feel neither happy nor satisfied-

Which may change tomorrow

Or it may not.

I cannot tell and cannot truly care at this moment.

Still it is the possibilities that keep me going today.

Things have been chaotic and hectic, but I felt the wind moving me forward until now.

I vary between hurricane force winds blowing me back,

tornadic activity threatening to take me away from the home I love and the people I cherish,

And an apathetic distance from my reality.

I don’t blink. I don’t think. I don’t know where I will be from this minute to tomorrow’s minutes.

To be or not to be? Hamlet, my hero.

4/4/19 Toni Leedy

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